One of the hardest parts about dealing with a breakup is oftentimes the dreaded moment when you find out your ex has started seeing someone else. Chances are, there are probably going to be several factors you'll need to consider before making the decision to reach out. I spoke to Dr. Gary Brown , a prominent Los Angeles dating and relationship therapist, and asked him to weigh in on whether or not letting your ex know you're seeing someone else is a good idea. According to Dr.
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Should You Tell Your Ex You're Dating Again?
If you and your ex-spouse share children, you will always be connected and have a need to cordially share information. When you begin dating, your ex wants to make certain that anyone who has contact with the children you and he share is a safe person for the kids. If your ex was holding out hope that you might reconcile, he also wants to know when you are dating. Your relationship will probably have fewer bumps if he learns it directly from you. Send an email or text to your ex and ask to schedule a time for the two of you to chat. If you can communicate comfortably face-to-face, that could be over lunch while the kids are at school or other opportunity when the kids are otherwise occupied.
If you still have to see your ex regularly or have a habit of "bumping into" one another a lot, it's important to be able to demonstrate that you've moved on in positive ways and that seeing them again doesn't make you weaken your resolve or pine madly after them again. Keep your self-respect and tame that wish to bite off their head! If you want to show your ex that you've moved on, give them the impression that you're happy and busy. For example, if your ex asks you how you're doing, share the positives with them briefly, but don't let them take up too much of your time. Instead of lingering, end the conversation when you're ready by saying something like, "I'm about to meet a friend.
You want to inform your ex, since you and he share the responsibility of raising your children together. You are aware that you should tread lightly in bringing up this sensitive subject with your ex and taking your ex's feelings into consideration will go a long way. Despite your relationship with your ex-spouse, informing him that you are dating is about your children. It is better that he hears from you that you are dating, rather than from a mutual friend or your children. Prepare what you are going to say and keep to the facts.